Saturday, November 21, 2015

this is the 27th time i've written about you

i met you in april
and you forgot about me by november.


yesterday new hands scrolled through my pictures and they landed on one from my last day with you

a hundred memories pressed themselves against the edge of my mouth but i swallowed them back without even missing a beat.

i wanted to say something pretty about the security that used to come from familiar lips 
but the truth is i just didn’t know how

and i think that story is tired of being told.

some days the world just sits heavier than others and
some days the words don’t come as easy as they used to

some days it hurts more than i was expecting.

and its not that i don’t miss you anymore,
because i do

its just


i’ve run out of words for you.

i’ve smeared your name across too many pages trying my hardest to unlove you,
meanwhile you’ve occupied yourself with leaning in first for everyone but me. 

i guess we all have different ways of trying to forget.

and it’s not that i wasn’t expecting it,
because i was

it’s just

i’ve run out of words for you



and august didn’t last quite as long as i would’ve hoped.

6 comments:

  1. Hey it's me Connor Olvera shhh don't tell anybody! Also oh my Whitney this is so sad! I think I know who this is about... Also you're a freaking amazing writer. My favorite line was "a hundred memories pressed themselves against the edge of my mouth but i swallowed them back without even missing a beat." Miss you!

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  2. "i’ve smeared your name across too many pages trying my hardest to unlove you,
    meanwhile you’ve occupied yourself with leaning in first for everyone but me."
    Whitney this was good.

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  3. meanwhile you’ve occupied yourself with leaning in first for everyone but me.
    and that last line

    my heart broke
    i love this
    and you

    real talk

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  4. this is the first thing I've read of yours, and i already am in love with your blog.

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  5. "I've run out of words for you"

    my heart is broken

    and i miss you so that doesn't help.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "some days the world just sits heavier than others" #stolen

    and that last line

    ReplyDelete